The answer to that is no.
I feel as though it’d be wrong to make you guys think that my life is all about beaches, farmer’s market-sourced dinners, parties, friends and domestic bliss with a new puppy. Yes, those things are a part of my life, but there’s also a lot of less fun stuff involved. Actually, some of the stuff is downright frustrating, miserable and boring.
I don’t like to air my dirty laundry here; I like to use this space to focus on the positive. But for argument’s sake — and to prove that no, my life is far from perfect — here’s a random smattering of less than happy moments as of late. I think it’s important to be honest:
— On Saturday morning, I had a near meltdown while walking Teddy by myself. I’m not sure if it was the teething, the heat wave or his general puppy-ness, but boy was not wanting to walk properly. (And it’s been happening a lot lately.) Instead, he wanted to chew the leash and surprise me with multiple bites on my butt and the back of my thighs. (That’s happening a lot lately, too.) The only way I could control him was by carrying him home two blocks — not an easy feat given how much he’s grown recently — and fighting tears. I know it’ll get better — I know — but sometimes it’s just hard and I want to vent, mmkay?
— I had a couple days last week where I wondered, “What the hell am I doing with my life career-wise? Are these series of freelance gigs really what I want?” Jury’s still out on that one.
— Sometimes I love San Diego, sometimes I don’t.
— I’ve met some cool people here, but I’m still struggling to make new friends. Working from home makes it 10 times harder.
— Speaking of, working from home hasn’t been an easy adjustment. The couch, kitchen and Target runs are way too distracting.
— Eaman is working hard on a business idea, and I’m beginning to realize what it’s like to date a start-up guy.
— I knew raising a puppy would be hard, but I didn’t know it’d be this hard. Now that Eaman’s work has picked up, I’m taking care of Teddy most of the time, and holy cow, I’m exhausted every day and don’t have time for much else. I’m in awe of people that have a puppy and a life. Teddy has too much energy to be left to his own devices around the apartment while we work and requires two eyes watching him at all times. (We crate him while we work and eat.)
— I want to start a hobby (like painting or drawing), buy a bike and furnish our balcony, but money is tight. (OK, I’m just whining now.)
OK that’s enough. I do know that there’s also a lot of good stuff happening in life, too. Sometimes I read through old blog posts to remind myself of that. (Watching my condensed monthly video recaps is like an IV of happiness to my veins.) At the same time, I want to be up front with you. Sometimes you stop and wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life, you question whether you made the right decisions and you ask yourself who you really want to be when given a blank slate. Good, healthy, important questions. I won’t bore you with these musings always, but I do like to keep it real sometimes.
Thanks for listening. Back to the positive on Wednesday!