the most challenging phase of your life: have you experienced yours yet?

October 23, 2013

I was recently chatting with my friend about what I had been up to. And because I don’t filter — I just don’t see the point in saying, “Everything’s great!” when it’s not — I launched into a diatribe about frustrations, lack of sleep, self-doubt and a general state of stress. (The transition to the freelance, self-employed lifestyle hasn’t been an easy one.)

And she said something kind of brilliant.

To paraphrase: “Everyone has a point in their lives when they have to struggle, put in extra hours, fight harder and make sacrifices for that thing they really want.”

Her takeaway on life is stupidly simple and doesn’t wipe my worries away, but it does show me a light at the end of the tunnel. When she said it, I stopped for a second to think about how I must be living in that phase right now. For the first time in my life, I feel really strongly about the career and lifestyle I want, and fortunately and unfortunately I have to fight for it. It means sacrifices and anxieties I’ve never previously dealt with and day-to-day disarray I’m not used to. As Phoebe from Friends would say, things are kind of “floopy” right now. There’s also the question of how many phases each of us will go through, but let’s no worry about that right now.

I’d love to know: Do you agree with her philosophy? Have you had you gone through your “tough” phase yet?

Photo via

7 thoughts on “the most challenging phase of your life: have you experienced yours yet?

  1. Laura Martin

    Hang in there! I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up for the last 15 years. All of a sudden I am almost 38 – I don’t love my job but I have a fantastic life. Good things will be coming your way.

  2. Corey

    I am in that period right now, I think I have headed toward that time and then avoided it several times in the past few years and I’m just looking to head into it straight on (or as straight as possible) so I can actually get through it to another side. It’s been really, REALLY tough this year mentally. The beginning was a bunch of physical manifestations of inner turmoil and the metaphorical ish just kept hitting the fan. But one day I decided I didn’t want to be “the sad girl” anymore and I figured that we learn things from the harder times and that life wouldn’t be worth it if it all came easy… so it was time to buckle down. And sometimes I still try to avoid… but then I get smacked upside the head again and so I focus again on things that may not be comfortable to focus on. And a lot of the time it can feel like no progress has been made, but then somehow the universe gives me an example of the difference, usually in my handling of situations, and I realize that work is being done. Slowly but surely, work is being done. And that’s what matters.

    1. Archana Post author

      Thanks so much for sharing, Corey. I love your philosophy that we learn from the harder times. I totally agree. Good for you for making a change and having such good perspective!

  3. Sonia

    I agree with your friend – we all go through that phase at least once if not several times! Struggling and being out of our comfort zone is always a blessing in disguise as it is through those times we really can tune into what matters to us and what we are made of.

    With a new condo (and a mortgage), a puppy, a long distance relationship, and a difficult period at work, I have been experiencing something similar. I don’t know when things will calm down but thinking about the fact that I made a choice to be here and that I have more clarity than ever on what I want helps me get through the tougher parts of this “phase.”

    By the way, I am a San Diego resident and don’t even remember how I stumbled upon your blog a few weeks ago but I love it. Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts!

    1. Archana Post author

      Hi, Sonia! So happy that you found my little corner of the Internet. I definitely know how the whole puppy thing goes, and I’ve also done long-distance in the past. All of it must be so hard, but it sounds like you have the right outlook on things. Thanks for sharing and thanks for reading!

  4. Anand G

    I absolutely agree with you. I’m going through such a phase in life now. My fiancee dumped me to marry another guy and it is happening next week. I lost my job and now I’m staying with my parents who are retired with only father’s pension to sustain the family. My startup projects didn’t take off.I don’t know what I’m good at as I switched multiple jobs and job search is going nowhere while my ex is planning to go all over the world with her rich husband. I have no idea how to stay motivated. Every single day is enormous struggle to live through. I feel like a rudderless ship in tumultuous waters.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>